


Dear diary

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Light Angst, POV First Person, POV Molly Hooper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 04:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9802259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Molly starts keeping a diary after she's arrived in New York for her new job (seeA new start)POV Molly.





	

DO NOT READ !!!!!  
This is private property of Dr. Molly Hooper. If found please contact me via mollyhooper.co.uk.  


 

So well, here I am, keeping a diary again. The old fashioned way, no blogs, no internet where you press the wrong key and suddenly you've shared the name of your secret love with all the world.  
The main reason I'm writing this is him, of course. I need to get on with my life, and move on, finally.  
The plan is the following:  
1\. Distance myself from Sherlock (I can use his name here, because I'm offline) as much as possible, physically, mentally, emotionally...  
2\. Fill my life with new work, new people (not only from work), new activities (not only work!!!)  
3\. IMPORTANT: see below  
4\. ???????  
5\. Profit! (Always wanted to do one of these :))  


Important: at any time, remember:  
HE DOES NOT LOVE ME  


Well maybe he does (this thought will henceforth be regarded as treachery), but not in the way I want. Never in the way I've always wanted.  
No, seriously.  


First I thought he didn't have feelings at all. But then there was John, and I was proven wrong.  
Then I thought he just didn't fancy women. But there was Mary, and that dead one whom he recognised from her body, and not her face!  
I thought he wasn't interested in sex, but^^  
He even was engaged! Well it was for a case, not for real, but then again why couldn't it have been both?!!!  


The deduction: Sherlock Holmes just doesn't love _me_.  


For a long time I refused to believe it. I hoped and hoped, I tried to look for some signs of affection towards me.  
And each time, the reality crushed me.  
I remember John and Mary's wedding. His first and last(!) vow. It was very sentimental, and beautiful really, and if I'd been at least half as selfless and good as I try to seem, I'd be just happy for them. And I was happy. But at the same time, and I can admit this to myself, I was jealous. Because he'd never do this for me. He adores John, and he adored Mary (God I miss her), and I could never compete.  
He said once that I was the person who mattered the most. But I've learned to trust actions and not words. Especially the words of someone who is a drama queen way too often.  
And what did he do to thank me? Invited me to solve crimes, _his_ favourite pastime, _his_ territory. Never interested in what _I_ 'd like.  
So, really. Not worth _my_ time.  
There's also that telephone call, but I can't deal with it right now. Jet lag and all, too tired. But good to get this stuff out of my head.

**Author's Note:**

> I like her very much :)


End file.
